The Warrior Princess

Abandoned Agenda

2010-11-18T01:14:00.000-08:00

Abandoned Agenda

Highlights of the Singapore Trip

(October 27-November 2, 2010)

God meets our great expectations through little surprises. This is what happened during our trip to Singapore. We have planned for our itinerary and the people to meet and talk to, but God has another agenda for us. On our first day in Singapore, we decided to abandon our printed schedule and itinerary, and instead pursue God's leading for us.

Little Delays, Big Realizations

walking to the airplane to board

While checking our luggage in, we were set aside by a lady at the counter who told us that we have not paid for everything. But I was the one who paid so I knew that would not be possible. In fact, I still have four centavos change. When I asked how much our balance was, it was 49 cents.

Because of 49 cents, we were not able to get our boarding pass until everyone in line was done. The crews at the boarding gate were already calling the passengers who were not on board yet. We knew it. This little distraction was from the enemy trying to delay us and the work the Lord is about to do.

The God of Comfort and Surprises

with Peter at OMF

In May, our team stayed in a backpackers hostel in one room, male and female joined, together with other male and female foreigners. I was trying to book to the same kind of accommodation but reserving two rooms for two people in each room. The person I asked to do the booking for us lost connection thru the internet and was not able to confirm our booking. I believe this happened because the Lord had another place for us to stay. We did not pursue the original booking and God led us to another place to stay. There were only two more rooms left which we believed were reserved by God for us.

We stayed at OMF Guesthouse in Singapore where we paid for a lower price compared to the rooms we were trying to reserve (which were also not so comfortable). The place was very quiet, peaceful, clean and relaxing. In short, the place was very comfortable for us to stay. It was also very accessible, just in front of the venue where we planned to gather the Filipinos for the event.

Gary and Jeff talking about missions

We planned to gather them in the park but it was cloudy that day and raining in the afternoon. The guesthouse manager was gracious enough to allow us to gather the Filipinos in the dining hall—free of charge. There was no distraction and surprisingly we met Jeff, a Filipino inquiring about mission opportunities who joined us and had fellowship with us. For Jeff, it was no coincidence, but God's divine appointment. Being new in Singapore and looking for friends and more involvement in missions, God sent him to our group.

A Foreigner with a Heart for the Filipinos

with Gilda (my mom) and Debbie

Debbie is an Australian who, together with her husband, was a missionary to the Philippines for nine years. She not only speaks Tagalog clearly, but her heart also beats for the Filipino overseas workers in Singapore, especially the domestic helpers. We were only introduced by a common friend (a missionary also) through email and I was supposed to meet her there but Gary met her first while fixing coffee.

It was a morning of meaningful and very helpful conversation about starting a ministry among the Filipinos in Singapore. This was the moment also when we abandoned our printed schedule and itinerary and just followed God’s leading. We met another man named David (a British) who is a retired missionary but is going back to the Philippines to start another evangelistic ministry. It melted our hearts to see how these foreigners love the Filipinos.

Statistics Speaks

If Debbie's heart is for the domestic helpers, we cannot neglect also the many young professionals, married and unmarried, who are flocking to Singapore nowadays. This was confirmed by Mr. Rodolfo Sabulao, Labor Attache in Singapore. He said, statistics say that there are around 162,000 Filipinos, 55% of those are skilled and professionals. This trend and demand for more skilled and professional workers, he said, will continue for the next years.


with Mr. Sabulao, Labor Attache in Singapore

It was a meaningful afternoon with Mr. Sabulao when he generously shared with us facts and information about our Overseas Filipino Workers and in establishing churches in Singapore in the absence of Ambassador Minda Cruz who was in Korea that time. The Ambassador met with the leaders involved in any Filipino communities, religious and non-religious, who are helping our "kababayans" in Singapore every month.

Wordless Devotion

along Symphony Lake

a walk through the rain forest

One morning, we decided to have a walk at the Botanic Gardens across the street. Pastor Mar was supposed to lead the devotion and he did it without opening his Bible and without saying a word. The creation spoke of God's greatness and majesty—century old trees, thousands of varieties of flowers and plants and trees and cacti and bushes. Birds freely flying around, fishes in the ponds together with the turtles and water plants—they all shout of God's masterpiece and caring hands. It was refreshing to the soul, especially the walk through the rainforest where God sent dew to water the trees and sustain them to give shelter to animals and human beings.

It was quite a journey through God’s creation realizing how His grace is sufficient for us and how He created each creature with a purpose. Looking at the trees, we could not help but relate them to different churches and approaches made in church planting and there was this one tree which caught our attention and led us to a discussion of what we thought the kind of church the Lord wanted to see among the Filipinos based on the Scripture.

OFW with a higher purpose for their overseas job

A Date with Jesus

Gilda, Mae, Rosie, Abby & Jane

During our gathering on Sunday, Mae was invited by Rosie who was invited by my mother. Mae did not know what the gathering was all about. She was told that it will be just for a while but then it took her to stay for two hours. While I was having a conversation with her, she told me that she missed her other appointments because she did not expect it would be that long. When I asked her how she felt, she said it was just fine, she did not regret to stay and that she did not expect also how her life would be touched by God. She said that she will just tell the person she was supposed to meet that she had a date with Jesus.

Gary, Emil, Mar, Mark, Jeff, Paul, & Harley

Gilda, Mark, Let, Jane, Rosie, Mae, Sharon, Jane, Gary & Jeff

Family vs. Money

during the session

We met two of Pastor Mar's classmates in college. They were both engineers working in Singapore. Harley brought his wife and two kids in Singapore and they all attended our event. The other one, Emil, left his family in the Philippines. During the small group discussion, he realized that it was not about money—how much he earns but it's about his love for his family. He used to be earning a lot in the Philippines but something happened in the work that frustrated him. So when there was an opportunity to work in Singapore, he grabbed it.

When Harley was invited by Pastor Mar, he also invited Emil. Pastor Mar and Emil hardly remembered each other because they were not close friends in college. But it was no accident that God brought him to the event. He told Pastor Mar after the event that he now realized his purpose in life.

Not Knowing Jesus

Max is a seven year old kid who had many questions like, “Where is God?”, “Where is heaven?”, “What will happen if a man dies?” and “Will I have the boat of my dream?” Those were just some questions he had in mind before we arrived in their house.

Jane worked with the family as a helper and Max is one of the two sons. The other one is Jaime who is five years old. Their parents are from UK and Finland and they do not express any belief in God and they couldn't even answer Max's questions, and so they were happy to have us. Although Elena was hesitant at first and wanted to leave when we arrived, she stayed with her husband Simon.


Jane & Max (Back) Jaime & Abby (front)

We talked about the Bible, as a source of answers to his questions. We shared the story of Moses and then talked about God and His plan and purpose for each one. When Max asked what will happen if a man dies, we let him read John 3:16. He was shy to read it loud so he read it by himself and when his mom asked, "So did you read it? Did you understand what you read?" And the boy shook his head and told us, "I didn't understand what it meant." We were reminded of the Eunuch who was reading from the prophets but couldn't understand what he was reading. He sat beside me and Abby and we let him read again aloud. We talked to him how much God loves us and sent His Son Jesus for us. It was surprising that he didn't know Jesus but he knew about Christmas and Easter.

We asked him and the rest of the family to join us in prayer to make the decision but he was shy to do that. But after our discussion, we asked him if his questions were answered and if he understood it, he nodded with teary eyes. When the snacks were set, we offered to pray for the family. Before we prayed, Max said he did not know how to pray. After our prayer, he asked his dad, "Dad, do you pray?" His dad answered, "Not always, it's been years since I last prayed."

This is a picture of how much the work is needed to reach out also to other cultures. Fortunately, many of our OFWs like Jane were already positioned to minister to them. It's upon their reach to share the good news to people—like Max and his whole family—who don't know Jesus.

FLY BY FAITH

We all went to Singapore with our tickets and faith that the Lord will provide the rest. And He did, we were able to pay for our accommodation and He sent people to bless us. We were blessed by the generosity of people we met both the professionals and the helpers. From breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks to coffee at Starbucks, we thank God for people who blessed us. Even at the airport, Lorie met us and blessed our team before we boarded back to the Philippines.

Of course, this will not also be possible, if not for people who prayed and believed in what the Lord is doing through us and even invested their resources in us and in this trip that made it possible for us to prepare and go to Singapore.

To summarize this trip, if there is a VISION, there is a PROVISION. When God gave a vision, He has already provided to make it happen. It takes people to take a step of faith and say Yes to participate in what He is doing globally, especially in this case, among the many Filipinos, 11 million as estimated, who are scattered around the world.

a higher purpose

2010-09-28T02:59:00.000-07:00

It's really interesting how the Lord work things out in our lives... our pains and experiences in life are not wasted according to the plans of God.

My mom has been an OFW or Overseas Filipino Worker in Singapore for more than 18 years now. While I was a child I always wonder, why do parents have to leave their children in order to work abroad? The obvious reasons, of course, is to provide for our basic needs like food, shelter and also a good education. Well, at least those are the primary reasons of my mother.

But God, I believe has greater plans than that. According to statistics there are around 11 million Filipinos scattered around the world in more than 100 countries. Every year there are at least one million Filipinos being deployed. This phenomenon has been going on for years and it has negative effects to the families, especially to the kids (I experienced it myself)--resulting to broken homes and rebelling teenagers, not to mention unwanted pregnancies and abuses, drug addiction, etc.

Despite the negative side of it, there are Filipinos who came to know the Lord in other countries and are being used by God to spread the Good News. One of them is my mom.

They said Filipinos are gifted people, skilled and talented, hardworking and caring, can adjust to different situations and can learn the language easily, and more that made them win the hearts of their employers. This really made me think that He created us for a purpose and even those who work abroad for a higher purpose than to earn more money and make a living.

For the OFWs around the world, I salute you! You are our modern day heroes... and You can be witnesses of God's love and salvation to billions of people who doesn't know about our Lord Jesus Christ.

Pray for our church as we explore the possibilities of building communities for the Filipinos--to train and disciple them to for higher purpose, that is, to be WITNESSES of Jesus Christ to other cultures as well.

it's not always easy and happy...

2010-06-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

just when i thought everything is fine, it's not...
some circumstances in my life early this year made me wonder,

"Ok Lord, what's up and what's next?"

and I am right, the Lord is up to something.
I am surprised and not at the same time. He always does that.
And I would call that GRACE.

One thing is sure in my journey with the Lord...
When He is up to something, He always prepares me.
but I can only find that out the moment I say yes to Him and take the step of obedience.
and I am confident that His grace is sufficient for me.
never that He failed me and left me hanging--
--He is always holding my hands even when I thought I'm left hanging.
that's my Jesus. that's my Lord.

sometimes or it's better to say most of the time, other people think it's always fun and easy...
but it's actually tiring and stressful... it's not easy...
but that doesn't mean i am giving up...
no, I am holding on because i know that through these challenges,
Jesus is with me.

2009 - a year of opportunites

2010-02-10T02:10:00.000-08:00

I know it's too late to talk about 2009 since it's the second month of 2010 already. But it is also true that it is hard to move forward if I just ignored the past. At least that is true to me, 2009 keeps lingering in my mind as I take steps for 2010.

Everything that I am facing in 2010--the changes and challenges, has something to do with what took place in 2009. Let me start with the opportunity to go back to school and pursue my masters in ATS. Yep that was an answered prayer for me and I am grateful that the Lord has also provided for my tuition fee for the whole semester.

I enjoyed my classes during the first semester and I have met new friends. My life on the first year I studied in ATS was school-home and home-school. This time I had more time to stay in the campus because of group works and I do not have to worry going home to Tagaytay.

I became more involved during the second semester because of group work and the preparation for the mission internship which I enjoy because it gives me opportunities to get to know my other ATS students more.

The courses are taking are really relevant to what I am doing and I never regret I took up missions. Major World Religions and Doing Theology in Context have really prepared me for the new ministry I am about to explore this year. The ministry among Filipinos abroad.

The second was the opportunity to teach in the Bible College where I graduated from--FBC. I enjoyed my class sharing with them the same principles I learned and applied in Church Planting Ministry. I also learned a lot from their insights and sharing in the class. I think the highlight of the class was when we go to a church planting field for one day and join the church planters in their ministry.
And last but not the least was my trip to Singapore. It was intended to do ministry but for a person like me who connects ministry with pleasure, ministry will always be with pleasure. I was able to spend two weeks with my mom for the first time in 16 years. And at the same time I learned the complex and diverse culture of the Singaporeans and even the Filipinos in Singapore. That was really a new adventure for me--overwhelming and very challenging.
These opportunities are but preparations for the challenges I am facing in 2010. Challenges to be posted on my next blog. :)

For those who hate reading books...

2009-08-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

have you tried reading a book while listening to what you are reading?! It was fun. Good news for those who are "lazy" to read books and most of all to read the Bible.

I was told before by a friend to listen to audio bible while having my devotion instead of reading the Bible itself. But I was easily distracted I couldn't get my mind focused on what I'm listening to... or worse if I'm in front of the computer my mind wandered and shifted its focus on the screen of the computer. It won't work for me I told myself.

Two weeks ago in our Educational Principles and Methods Class in ATS, I found out what type of learner I am. Definitely I am not an audible learner, I need to see, I need to feel and I need to touch before it gets to my being... before I learn it.

reading is fun for me (actually i have learned to love it when I got to college, to FBC in particular, or else I haven't survived school, esp. the seminary)! But I have not imagined it could even be more fun to read while listening to its audio version.

I was given the audio of waking the dead several weeks or months ago. When i tried listening, I could hardly understand nor appreciate its beauty simply because (as I have just found out) I am not an audible learner. And this week I received a copy of the book from a generous ate who sent me one (thank you ate Bren)! The sounds in my mp4 now make sense as I listen to its words and the book was given more life listening to the audio!

For those who hate reading books and bored to read their Bibles.. you may want to try it! For those who don't have a copy of audio bible you can check the following site: http://www.audio-bible.com/bible/bible.html

Enjoy a new way of enjoying the Word of God!

free coffee. missions. free gift.

2009-07-09T03:44:00.000-07:00

I have been excited to attend my classes every wednesday and thursday morning since we've started. I planned not to take 8am classes since I know it would be a struggle for me to wake up earlier than usual which I wasn't used to anymore.

But anyway, on my way to the class this morning, I passed by 711 at the basement of Imperial to buy stuffed pandesal since I already brought my coffee. When I was about to leave the cashier said, "Wait ma'am, your free coffee." And her assistant gave me a cup of caramel macchiato. What a day to start! I wonder if there'll be more surprises from the Lord...

MISSIONS. When I entered FBC I knew God is calling me to missions but I forgot about that when I fell in love with greek. I was thinking to get Biblical Studies in the seminary. But now, just today, I realized God brought me back to that call to be a missionary, taking up Inter-cultural and Urban Studies at ATS. God's plans are the best talaga!

I'm taking up World Major Religion every thursday. We've just finished our discussion about HInduism today discussing about the video of a true to life story in Nepal about the living goddess they believe to be the incarnate of their goddes. From there we moved on to Buddhism which actually branched out of Hinduism so they've got similar beliefs about karma and samsara or reincarnation.

We always have interesting discussions because we tried to fully comprehend their beliefs. We tried to understand them based on what we believe which our professor said we could not. We have to empty our minds first of our own set of beliefs, especialy when we tried to understand their view of life since they have no concept of death and heaven.

One thing I noticed about these religions we have studied so far: People operate by their own efforts and their fate is based on that. There is no free gift we call GRACE as Christians and that is one thing I am thankful to the Lord. For without Him, I am nothing.

I never thought it would be like this...

2009-05-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

there's no greater joy for me than to see the people I knew continue in their faith and in serving the Lord...

I never thought of being involved in church planting ministry.. but I was certain that after graduating from Bible College that was where the Lord was leading me... I even told God "anywhere You will lead me, Lord..." I didn't know that God would be so serious to take my word... I was assigned to the farthest church planting destination of our church--Laoag City!

Just like what I've said... anywhere the Lord would lead me not thinking that would be 13 hours away from Manila... but the Lord has His plans and that was the best. I ministered there for 3 years doing evangelism, discipleship among women and mothers, establishing youth ministry and Sunday School for kids, sometimes preaching and decorating the church building, conducting training and handling small groups. Some of the people I have handled didn't stay... It was so frustrating to see them follow themselves instead of God... to control their lives instead of surrendering to the Lord.

But that was not all the ministry is all about... there were heartaches but there are also joys... It has been three years since I left the ministry in Laoag City. When the news reached me that the pastor there was transferring to another church... my first question was: Who is going to take over Laoag? Praise God when another pastor accepted the responsibility and on May 10 I had the opportunity to visit them. I was wondering if I would see old faces because I was told that many of them left already, especially those who we have trained in the mininstry.

Praise God when I see the people coming to attend the service, I saw familiar faces... The women I have discipled were still there and very much involved in the ministry. The Sunday School kids that I used to handle are now grown ups ralso involved in the ministry...

New faces for me were signs of growth... I was blessed to meet the new young people and some of the couples who are now active in the church. It was really a joy to see more people being transformed by the power of God and seeing them bring the same good news to other people in their community...

although the leaders shared their struggles with me... but in my heart I was happy to know that they continue in the Lord despite the difficulties... may they continue in the Lord and see the fruit of their labor... and realize that everything they do will not be wasted in the kingdom of God!

last conversation with dad

2009-04-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

i miss him but i am used to not having him around... it has been 17 years since my dad died due to an accident but the last meal and the last conversation I had with him was still clear in my mind. we were talking about my future.

I always wanted to be a lawyer when I was a child and that was my dad's dream for me also--to send me to school until I have a doctorate in law. that's how supportive he was of my studies. I even remember him saying as long asl he could afford to send me to school he wouldn't stop supporting me.

that dream died when I lost my father. I became afraid of my future. I didn't even know if I could make it to a college level but God is good and He holds my future in His hands. This event in my life make me realize how great my heavenly Father is. Though my dreams died with my earthly father and it didn't happen exactly as we thougt it would be, I entrusted my future with Him and hold on to His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 "for I know the plans I have for you... plans to give you hope and a future..."

waiting for a miracle

2009-02-25T02:41:00.000-08:00

The Prince of Egypt (When You Believe) - Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston

My Family

2009-01-15T18:33:00.000-08:00

my kuya Ton, me, my mom, my younger sister, her daughter Yesha and her husband Ryan

Simple, not complicated. Common and not really dramatic. That's what I thought about the family I have. But when people heard my story they thought it would make a very good dramatic film. Well, every family has a story to tell. Whatever story we have, I am thankful of the family I got and wouldn't trade it for anything.

one of the sad stories I got is that we don't live together as a family for a long time. My mom works abroad that's why and the three of us (her children stayed with our relatives separately). I don't really see that as "abnormal" for a family because we are accommodated by families who never treated us as strangers. It's like having another family.

i was in high school then that I realized it wasn't a normal set up for a family and there I started dreaming and praying what if we were together. I hope that someday that will happen.

It is happening for a number of days but not really for a long time like having it permanent because my mom still works abroad and my younger sister is already married so she got a family of her own.

Christmas vacation was the best vacation I think I have because it was a dream come true. we were together and we even got pictures.

parties and activities in November

2008-12-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

one weekend I was away to the prayer mountain looking for solitude and a place to think and meditate and converse with the Lord about the many things going on and to find a new direction and to look at things from a different perspective...

the following weekend and even days before that I found myself surrounded with people and busy with different activities--from group meetings to parties and wedding and hang-outs with friends and cousins...

On Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning I was sitting in the midst of a crowd in SSS at East Ave. surrounded with busy people fixing their documents to get an ID. After that I met with the team to discuss some matters and pray together...

Another meeting on Friday morning and then party in the afternoon. Since last year, FECPI workers party is in November because obviously everybody gets busy in December... ECC workers sang and after that we had games... that was really fun at the same time tiring.. the committee program prepared awards and surprises to the workers and I was blessed to have received one. Thanks to all the committee who really exerted an effort to make this event memorable...

after the party, we decided to hang-out just like what we did last year... since we already had dinner, it's time for coffee and we were headed to eastwood (favorite hang-out while we were still in college.

FECPI Workers Christmas Party

ECC workers singing the opening number

The singles of FECPI

coffee after the party

Satuday, we were also excited for in the afternoon, one of our dearest friend is getting married... But before that there was a women's conference which unfortunately i wasn't able to attend because i met with my sister. The hour has come... it was a very simple ceremony witnessed by close family members and friends. and I felt honored to host the reception.

again after that, we spent some time to have coffee at the basement where they checked in with some friends from the Bible College. Then to Eastwood again where my cousins were waiting for me... That was really fun, we played games and shared laughter...

the Koenig's wedding

with the couple: Mo and Brenda

the couple and friends (ladies in green: Joy, Let, Aileen & Koko)

coffee after the wedding with friends

Sunday, I attended the worship service at FFR. Slept after that until 4 in the afternoon then prepared for the party in the evening. Together with Abby we conducted the games. I never thought it would be that fun to facilitate the games for the moms... they were more excited that it was among the youths... I like the fighting spirit.

again after the party, I thought i would be resting already because i haven't really rested yet... but there was another invitation to Eastwood because the young people were there. with much urgings, I finally gave in and went out with my friends...

FFR Women's Christmas Party

away to the mountain

2008-11-27T03:42:00.000-08:00

when disappointments and discouragements come, where do we turn to go and escape?

friends, malls, movies, books, parties, telephone, internet... these are the places and people we turn to escape and be with and forget about the reality and the present situation...

yes we pray and turn to God in prayer but how long? how often? just to be relieved?!

sometimes we need to get away from these things and people and find a place to think and converse with the Lord to find a new perspective and new direction... it's a place away from the crowd... to the mountain... just like what i did...

the beauty of God's creation

2008-11-21T02:54:00.000-08:00

empty words... empty mind...

2008-11-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

waaahh... it is so hard to write again... to gather the words and compose a phrase or a sentence how much more a paragraph... i know i was tired lately but I have already rested. In fact the whole day today I just slept and watched movies and ate then slept again, took a bath, chatted for awhile with friends.

now, i am trying to write again having the privilege to use a computer with internet for free but i couldn't gather my thoughts... What am i thinking? nothing lately...

after the mountain top experience

2008-10-31T01:09:00.000-07:00

i missed writing about anything i have experienced... maybe this isn't just my priority that when i get busy this is suddently neglected... and that's the reason for not writing for so long... i have been busy preparing for a week of training in Baguio City.

There's a sense of accomplishment the moment the training started and seeing everything you prepared look good (though there are still some errors) and people are enjoying the training. Though everybody is tired even just for the first day but it's worth the toil and effort seeing the people being blessed.

It has been a tiring week but also refreshing because it was Baguio. The cool breeze helped to set the mood, it relaxes the weary mind and body. Seeing the people respond to God's word and learning new skills in the training, you would forget about how physically exhausted you were. you want to see them accomplish their plans and goals for that week.

despite the victory, why is it hard to smile after the whole of experiencing the joy of fellowship and blessing... that's called burn out. I need rest. and that's what I did the whole day when we arrived in Manila. Sleep. Oh it was so good and very relacxing.

now i can smile again remembering everything that has happened during the training. It's now time to prepare for the next training... new ideas are already flooding my mind. It's a time of evaluation and preparation.

When No One Seems to Understand…

2008-08-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

It pays to be honest with your feelings. It's easier to hide them when you know it’s going to create conflicts and fights. It is especially hard with family and close friends because it’s a risk that they can take advantage to hurt us in the future. We don't want to be condemned and misjudged. At least this is true to me.

I choose peace over truth by remaining silent and by withdrawing if there's an argument or if am confronted. I thought that was easier without realizing that I still have to face them (the issues) in the future. And I am confronted.

I thought I was successful with my relationship with my friends when I chose silence over discussion and when I suppressed my real feelings than to express them. I thought it was success because they are still my friends until now as far as I am concerned. But the issues I have been running away from are arising with new relationships and friendships I have. And I have to face them. Now, I am facing them.

If you know me, I am not really good with confrontation but I have learned to face them—to listen and probe other's feelings and let them speak not realizing that one day I will have to face the same situation. The time has come that I'd break my silence.

It took several arguments with a close friend for me to learn how to express my thoughts, my feelings, my worries and my fears without being condemned and judged… still with the assurance that I am loved and accepted… helping me unload my heavy feelings toward our disagreement. And now I am understood.

I always say that it was hard to guess what other's are thinking and feeling so I want to know but I also don't know how to do that when I am in the same situation and is hurting. I made my loved ones guess what I was feeling. And it wasn't that easy… you could ask Abby how many sighs and deep breaths she heard and had to listen before I finally spoke one word and then phrases not even a complete sentence still afraid to be misunderstood. But I expect to be understood.

One day, I heard from DZAS as they were discussing about communication that most of us assume that people close to us already understand and should understand why we are behaving a certain way because they have known us already. But those expectations and assumptions aren't true most of the time, if not all the time. And I proved it true but I still would have to argue that they should because I do. At a certain level yes but it still takes an open communication. Have I really communicated my thoughts and feelings clearly? I guess not. Then I tried. And now somebody understands and is still trying to understand…

When it doesn’t feel comfortable anymore…

2008-08-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

this blog has been in my draft for more than five months now... i forgot why i wasn't able to post it but when i saw it again... i felt that this is the right time to post it.

I'd rather be silent. Run away. Escape. Or just evaporate from that situation… But it was going through those uncomfortable moments that I've learned. I'm glad that I didn’t escape and run away.

It's happening again. I'm facing uncomfortable situations that I thought of escaping. But I want to learn the lesson that goes with it. So I choose to stay and face the fears... the discomfort...

One of the greatest lessons in life, I have learned in Faith Bible College. I could have just escaped it if I wanted to but I chose to stay because I want to be a better person and to be prepared for the greater task the Lord has for me. And I am glad I did. I stayed I endured. It was painful and I have caused so much pain also to the teachers and even to my mom. Simple rule I couldn't follow but I tried even if it meant giving up my own comforts and "joys". If I didn't learn until now I would be a headache to my leaders.

I remember saying a prayer to God during those uncomfortable moments that may He give me the grace to go through the situation as I submit to Him as He was molding me and preparing me... I won't forget those moments that i brought headache and heartaches because i choose to do things my own way and wouldn't want to follow...

now I am experiencing the reverse having some people giving me heartaches and headaches by not doing simple tasks and responsibilities. Having been in their situation, I think I understand how they think and feel... but being on the other side this time... it wasn't comfortable for me also to confront people because I hate to be hated. But I have to even if it doesn't feel comfortable again...

Challenges in the Journey

2008-08-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

When your vision is challenged and your passion is questioned...

I thought everything's now clear and will be fine. I have seen it--the mountain peak. That's where we're going. We started the journey at the foot of the mountain excited looking forward to being at the top resting on clouds and enjoying the view. There are challenges along the way. Obstacles to overcome and going through the dark trails of the forest. Looking up we didn’t see the top of the mountain anymore. And it feels like we are going nowhere… We’re getting tired already and physically exhausted. Temper aren't controllable anymore creating conflicts. I hear somebody complaining, the others murmuring. I'm getting discouraged as well. Everybody doesn’t seem to be cooperating anymore. They wanted to go back now and abandon the journey. Some are thinking it isn't worth it. I don't know what to do. I thought I was leading and guiding but I am also lost and even questioning if it is really the right track. But I am sure I was led here. This is the way that was shown to me. This is what the map said the right track. There are no shortcuts. And we were also warned of the dangers along the way. That made us aware of the things to expect but I didn’t know it's going to be this hard and that the tension and danger will include of internal conflicts and struggles. I thought those would be brought by the outside factors but the struggle within and among us are even harder. It is all dark now and all I can hear are complaints and murmuring.

I just closed my eyes and listen again to my Guide. When I opened my eyes, there was a glimpse of light at the end of the woods. I followed the light. I was like standing on an open space/hill with the dark forest behind me and a beautiful view of the mountain peak in front of me. Once again, my Guide showed me where He was leading me and where I am going. I didn't know some followed me and they, too saw what I have seen but the others who are complaining stayed. I have to go back and tell them about it. It wasn't that easy to convince discouraged and frustrated people on the journey but they got to see the picture. I hope everybody would see it and be encouraged again that we are on the right track with the view once again shown to us in the middle of discouragements and frustrations.

the Connection... of the past and the present

2008-07-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

it has been ten years since I left Taytay after graduating from high school and ventured out in the Universtiy belt for College. Of course i still visit once in a while but I don't stay longer.

and then... there is SM Taytay. But it's not really about SM why i kept coming back lately to Taytay and why I am staying there longer this time compared before. There are actually many reasons. First, a close friend just moved there so I stay to spend time with her (I am sure she'll be happy to read this). Second, I miss home.. I really miss staying at my tita's place besides, I haven't spent quality time with them this past years and I just miss them. There are other reasons but I want to end with this: my third and last reason is because of the increase in fare. Taytay was closer to the office and after travelling around region 4 it was a place for me to rest as well at the same time to hang out with friends who are just around the corner of Taytay. And now with the opening of Starbucks we don't need to worry about going home because we are just few minutes away from home.

Starbucks in Taytay also gave a sense of connection to the past. There was not a visit in there that I haven't met people I knew in the past. And memories flooded my mind seeing old peeps and familiar faces. I feel at home.

life of both extremes

2008-07-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

i missed the city life...

For how many months, I think it was the longest I have stayed in Tagaytay to do all the reports and computer works and organized my "computer life"--updates my schedule on time and organize all the reports that I do monthly. Oh I forgot... I did stay long there during that two weeks in May when Abby and I worked on the materials for the IFOCUS Life and Ministry. But I wasn't able to organize my things then because I was focused on finishing the materials.

Tagaytay City is a city but unlike Manila where there are malls and the traffic and the noise and the people... staying up late at night at coffee shops with friends it's not that picture of a city. There is sturbucks in Tagaytay and the view is great staring at Taal Volcano while sipping Mocha Java Frappuccino. And that made it different. Though enjoying the food and drinks in the city but the ambiance is still the same. It's not that I don't like it because I love it. But what I am trying to say is that I miss the city life... with friends hanging around the malls and the noise and the people rushing...

My life is kinda mixture of both... I lived in the city for how many years but I also lived in the province located by the seaside and passing through mountains and fields. and I love both lives. But my problems is if I stay longer on the other one then I got bored and needed to change locations. I think maybe that's why the Lord gave me this ministry so I can travel a lot and not stay in one place so I won't get bored... and that makes my life more exciting and adventurous. If I want to be away from the crowded cities then I can just stay in my place in Tagaytay and help in the ministry there.... or the other way around.

the Warrior Princess

i got this phrase from a chapter of the book Captivating. it tells of a life of both extremes as well. ...having the comforts of the palace and the dangers of the battlefield... having the beauty and privileges of the princess and the bravery and discipline of the warriors... but both are courageous in their own fields and in facing the life of two different worlds. that is how i sometimes feel--being a child of the King of kings and at the same time trained to face the battles in this world before going home to the kingdom. I love the adventure. But it takes clear communication to my Commander who is also my King not to get lost and to receive instructions to get through everything victoriously...

Saturday Night

2008-07-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday Night without hang-out is boring for other people. But for church people, satruday nights are preparations for the following day's worship service.

In high school, it used to be preparation of Sunday School lessons for kids and a material for the youth small group. But before that, joining praise and worship was fun and tiring. Fun because I enjoy music and my friends are around but is also tiring because it sometimes took the team to practice until late at night and the following day you had to wake up early. But I miss those days during my teen age years.

In college, it was quite the same except even when I transferred to another church. But since we were older, we sometimes did some errands in the mall after the practice and I remember one time watching movie but that was only once. And that wasn't good for it stole the heart's condition for the worship service the following day.

In the Bible when the Jews prepared for the Sabbath day it doesn't start in the morning but in the afternoon the day before. So I was thinking, why was that concept not practiced anymore because sad to say that there are lots of Christians that instead of preparing for the worship made themselves so tired even to wake up the following day which made a lot of people miss the worship service.

I wasn't an excuse because I was like that also some time in my life. Like now, it's Saturday and the streets of Tagaytay is crowded, I'm not sure for what reason. But during weekends, there are a lot of tourists in Tagaytay which made the streets crowded and caused traffic jam also. I'm just wondering how many among these people have their hearts prepared for tomorrow's worship or do they even plan to attend to one?!

How about you, how do you spend your Saturday night?